Suburban Spooning

So I’m giving this blog sight a shot after having neglected my livejournal for quite some time. I’m bored, so I’ll share my thoughts about various restaurants/bars in the Iowa City area.

Old Chicago
As a World Beer Tour veteran, champion and enthusiast, I can speak of the glory of this incredible dining and drinking establishment! I had heard of this place 2 years before coming to Iowa, from Joel, who had done his undergrad here. At Bowling Green, there was a popular hang out among my friends called Myles’ Pizza, and it was a small sort of hole in the wall with cheap pitchers, amazingly unique pizzas and a large amount of unwanted fruit flies, which we strangely didn’t mind. For whatever reason, I had created a place like that in my head, based on the reputation which had been created for me for Old Chicago. So, the first time I went there (the night before I auditioned at Iowa), I was kind of shocked at the décor and sort of “chain restaurant” look of the place. Regardless, I loved the food and was hooked from the beginning. On the day I moved here to Iowa, I took the people who helped me unload out for dinner there and began my journey on the coveted beer tour. It’s the standard place for post-concert partying and it’s definitely a favorite. It bit the big one in the flood this past summer, but came back strong, but with really inexperienced servers. They’re getting better, but it’s not the same.

Sluggers
One restaurant that did NOT come back after the flood is Sluggers. I actually thought they had the best hot sauce in town, and pretty good French fries. I don’t think I ever had a bad experience there, actually. Well, one time I went and they closed like an hour early because they didn’t have any customers, and that kind of sucked, but other than that, I was happy. I walked by the building not too long ago, and I don’t even think they’ve cleaned out the flood sludge yet. Eww! R.I.P Sluggers.

Donnely’s
It’s always nice to forget that a place has free peanuts until the moment that they bring them to you. This is a nice little place with an additional novelty of sweet potato French fries! They have good beers on tap but I’ve never really noticed any drink specials. The food is really wonderful. The wings are awesome but every time I’ve had them, I’ve had trouble getting to sleep and then had the worst dreams imaginable. Chicken Caesar salad is awesome. Crowd is typically calmer than most Ped-Mall places.

Sanctuary
Nicknamed “Skanktuary,” this establishment is known for its live music and somewhat upscale drinking and eating. However, patience is the key, as the service is quite horrible. They often screw up orders, unexpectedly charge for refills and the servers are typically rude and obnoxious. The few times I’ve been there, they’ve had live jazz. It’s ok. Nothing quite to the level that the Blue Whisp provided back in Cincinnati, but it’s mostly listenable. You get the occasional horrible improv solo, which is, of course, eternally justified by someone else in the band/combo by him or her confidently nodding in approval. This serves as an official (and spiritual?) acknowledgement of musical genius which resides on a level that nobody else in the room could possibly understand. Thanks a lot there, nodder. The Skanktuary: Nodders welcome.

Bo-James
Mmmmmmmmmm burger baskets, wings and $3 big beers! The food is great. I really like the wings, and have them pretty much weekly. There are a lot of TVs and a generally acceptable crowd. I’ve only seen one girl pass out there (and man, she went down HARD!). The only drawback to this place is the bathroom...which I have to admit, has improved slightly. Before they improved (to some extent), this conversation actually took place in the Bo-James men’s bathroom:
Dad - “All done?”
Child - “Yeah.”
Dad - “OK, let’s go.”
Child - “But, daddy, don’t we have to wash our hands?”
Dad- “No, not in here we don’t.”
So yeah, the bathrooms suck, so try to go before you...go. Other than that, it’s definitely one of my favorite places in town. A + + + + + + + + + (from A Christmas Story)

The Mill
The Mill was the first place I went “out” to in Iowa City. There is typically live music, but I have to say, the place is a little disgusting. I’ve sampled a couple different food items there, and feel safe eating them only because they’re always deep fried and overcooked, thus likely killing any bacteria in the foods. The décor is that of damp wood. There is wood everywhere. Somehow, it is as if the floor, walls, tables and seats were all, at one time, the dirty floor of another dirty establishment. Thus, they just collected dirty floors over time until they had enough wood to make The Mill. In addition, the skank factor can sometimes be pretty elevated and the music can be mediocre. It’s not that bad, but definitely not a favorite.

The Union/Brothers/Fieldhouse
They’re all the same! If there is live music at one of these places, be skeptical. Not that they’re all horrible, but the last time I was at one of these locations, I was unable to keep the comment, “um, they have karaoke here? Those guys must have started drinking at, like, noon,” to myself. The crowd is your standard meat-market, almost-puking, screaming-not-talking, scantily-clad Big Ten college bar crowd. Which, of course, can be extraordinarily entertaining in the proper dosage. As with all of these types of bars, there is a bit of a Stock Market bidding approach in attempting to get a cheap, warm beer from a Cro-Magnon manish bar tender/bouncer. However, please be advised that these Simian studs do not protect against pregnancy, AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases. Before going to the Union/Brothers/Fieldhouse, ask your doctor if you are healthy enough for sexual activity.

I think that will do for now. I might get to The Vine, Boston’s and the like a different time. Goodnight!